Dear Abled people, When a Disabled person talks about their experience(s) of benevolent ableism and you reply, “they were just trying to be nice” and we say “don’t do that” - That is not us picking on you. That is you being an asshole, and us saying “don’t be an asshole.” When we explain to you why saying that is at best unhelpful, and at worst harmful, that is not us ‘thinking we’re perfect’. That is us acknowledging that you have been taught to be an asshole, by a culture rooted in assholery, and spending our valuable time & limited energy to try and help you to become less of an asshole.